I’m in the middle of trying to do economics homework. Not working, because I’m really having trouble wrapping my head around these concepts. Which is ironic, because that’s the topic of what I want to write about for a minute.
How are you supposed to truly explain something to someone if they just can’t wrap their head around the concept?
In this situation, I’m not talking about economics, but my condition and my boyfriend. He absolutely, positively does not understand what it’s like to have your moods run your life. He doesn’t understand that his advice to “just don’t think about it” is literally the opposite of what I have to do to keep my life under control. He tells me, “You’d be surprised at how much control your mind has over your mood and body.”
I’m not surprised, because I understand that entirely too well. I have to constantly monitor how I’m feeling, what I’ve been doing, my actions, my moods, my thoughts.. if I were to just let them go, I’d end up where I’ve been in the past, and that’s not a good place. I’ve learned this isn’t something that’s going to go away, and it’s not something that can be ignored. It doesn’t have to run my life (which it’s not right now, I’d like to point out) but it also can’t be something I sweep under the rug anymore; it’s just not possible.
According to him, “the normal person doesn’t consider any of this. They just go day to day.”
When he realizes I’m not a normal person, what’s going to happen? When it finally gets through his head that this isn’t something that will go away or lessen, what is he going to do? What’s he going to think?
I’m terrified of the answer. I’m scared of what will happen when we don’t have a long distance relationship anymore, what happens when he is here to witness my moods, my habits, my.. crazy. There is nothing normal about this situation and it’s making me sick to my stomach.
Have any of you had problems like this with explaining your disorder to friends/significant others/family members? How am I supposed to fully explain to him that this isn’t something I will grow out of or that will fade out in the future without scaring him away?