I live in bottles.  That phrase has been bouncing around my brain for the last 48 hours. I’ve been mentally.. narrating my life, or something, since my last post. I’ve been conscious of the fact that I’ve wanted to write something, but until today, I literally lacked the ability. I fell into – practically tripped […]

Get money or die trying.

“If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up.” ― Hunter S. Thompson Oh, Hunter S. Thompson. You have it right, good sir. But since I’m not getting paid, should I be locked up?  My worst fear has always been a tie between drowning and […]


Pills. Alcohol. Nicotine. More pills. What have I done with myself? I’ve failed, and I’m refusing to see it. My body is afloat in the sea of surrender, and I don’t have the energy to try to keep my nose above the water. Pills. Alcohol. Pills. More alcohol. Guilty, frustrated, lost, blank. Numb. Nothing. I […]

The black cloud is in the house.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have potential. I wish there was nothing to live up to, and that I wasn’t going anywhere. Then it would be way more socially acceptable and less shocking to drink myself away and live at the bottom of a bottle. It would be okay for me to want pills every […]